COLAGE News Blog

Today is Trans Day of Remembrance Nov 20 09

Today marks the 11th International Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day to memorialize those who were killed due to anti-transgender hatred or prejudice. We also remember those transgender folks who took their own lives because of transphobia and discrimination including COLAGE community members Marcelle Cook-Daniels and Stacy Clement.

COLAGE shares the following essay written by Monica Canfield-Lenfest, COLAGE KOT Coordinator, after her participation in TDOR observations last year:

During the Transgender Day of Remembrance service, we are reminded - these people are children, siblings, parents, friends, and lovers. As we read the names, I think of the mother mourning her transgender child's death, the brother who will never understand how someone could take his sibling's life. There is a small child whose parent committed suicide, an adult whose parent died because the doctors refused treatment. I don’t know their names, but anti-transgender violence has taken their family members.

In this moment, I find sadness. In this moment, I find rage.

Then, my thoughts turn to the transgender people in my life. I picture my father and her partner, the peaceful life they have pieced together in the small town surrounded by mountains. Grateful that they have a place to live, that she has a job. They are less vulnerable than many of those on the TDoR list, but still the fear creeps in. I could be that family member, holding a picture at the vigil. This year, I am not. I say a little prayer that my loved ones - family and friends - live free from violence.

In this moment, I find sadness. In this moment, I find rage.

While marching through San Francisco's Tenderloin neighborhood, I meet a woman whose name could have been on the memorial list. She tells me her story of surviving stab wounds and being left at Ocean Beach, of the children who found her there, of her recovery just two years ago. And she is marching next to me, holding a candle just like mine.

In this moment, I find perseverance. In this moment, I find hope.

May this compassionate rage fuel our collective efforts to recreate a world where people live free from violence and discrimination.

COLAGE invites you to visit the Trans Day of Remembrance website HERE to view the names of the transgender members of our community lost in 2009 and to find a TDOR observance happening tonight near you. Please also consider making a donation to the Marcelle Cook-Daniels Memorial Fund by clicking HERE.

Falyn's Story; In Honor of National Adoption Month Nov 19 09

This essay, written by COLAGE Speak OUT Member Falyn Sokol, was originally posted on the HRC Blog as part of their National Adoption Month Series.

Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Family is a series of conversations and blog posts celebrating National Adoption Month. This post in the series comes from Falyn, a part time teacher and masters student in early childhood special education. Falyn was adopted by a lesbian couple at the age of 13.

I ended up in the system when I was just under 13 years old. My mother had ended her own life after years of depression and paranoid schizophrenia. My father had passed away of natural causes just 11 months prior. I was considered an orphan and had absolutely no family interested in claiming me. At 13 years I was not considered particularly adoptable. I had been neglected my entire life, but I took care of myself well enough to fall under the radar. I found the adult approval I needed by excelling in school. I wasn't a bad kid, but no one wants a 13 year old.

Falyn - left - and siblingsI began the process of getting passed around to places that were willing to temporarily have me. I remember the day my social worker came to my school. I figured I was getting the final news of a group home. This was an option I did not want to consider and still believe things would have gone downhill had I been placed in one. Instead, my caseworker had some good news. There was a family that was willing to meet me and consider a long-term placement. There was a single catch that she was unsure about my reaction towards. The family, which would include an older brother and sister, was headed by a lesbian couple. While my birth parents had their issues, they raised me in the typical hippy fashion to love first and make necessary judgments later. I was definitely more than willing to meet these people.

I moved in with Diana and Jeane the day after I finished the seventh grade. As expected, there was an adjustment period for both the family and me. We worked through the bumps until it quickly began to feel like I had lived there my whole life. This is family and I truly believe they saved my life.

I am often asked, in many different contexts, what it’s like to have had straight parents for half my childhood and gay parents for the second half. My answer is extremely biased. My straight parents had mental illness and were neglectful. My gay parents are emotionally stable and have provided me far beyond the basic needs. I have a different relationship to having gay parents than my brother and sister, who were without parents their entire lives. I am extremely passionate about the fact that my parents are gay and amazing parents. Nevertheless, there is a so-called coming-out process for the children of gay parents. Obviously, there have been more comfortable situations to bring it up in and less comfortable situations to 'out' your family. In many situations, the sexuality of my parents has nothing to do with what I am doing as an individual; just as the height and weight of a child's parents doesn’t affect everything the child does. I am very open about how I ended up having the parents I have and I tend to start a conversation saying that. I also encourage questions, as most people haven't directly encountered this sort of family make-up.

Overall, my family is almost annoyingly normal. My parents are very much in love. I have siblings that I may or may not be getting along with at any given point in our lives. We take vacation. We would make bad decisions as teenagers and face the consequences. We were guided, but not pushed. We are a typical family.

If you are thinking about adopting a child, especially an older child, know that you will be making a huge difference for that child and giving them the chance to have a solid, stable family so they can achieve and succeed in life.

See the original posting by clicking HERE.

National Call In Day for ENDA is TODAY!! Nov 18 09

Today is our National Call-In Day for Equality--- these call-in days are a coordinated effort by scores of organizations to flood Capitol Hill offices with calls as we move closer to a House vote on the Employment Non-Discrimination Act. As people with a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and/or queer parent, we know that ENDA will provide much needed protections for our parents and our families.

Congressmembers tell us that what influences them most are calls and emails from people back home. Make a difference, call Capitol Hill now. And get your friends and family members to call too!

Call the U.S. Capitol switchboard: (202) 224-3121. Give your zip code and ask to be connected to your Representative.

Say: My name is _____ and a proud resident of (your city, state). I am calling in support of the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (H.R. 3017), to protect lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people from job discrimination. Please pass ENDA before the end of the year. I can be reached at _______ (give your phone number). Thank you.

Or, send an email by clicking here.

Let's burn up the phone lines to Congress, telling them ENDA is next, ENDA is NOW! Let Congress know how important ENDA is to LGBT people and all those who care about equality. Call today! Call now!

Take Action on Domestic Partnerships Nov 17 09

On Wednesday, Nov. 18, the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee will hold a session to mark-up the Domestic Partner Benefits and Obligations (DPBO) Act (H.R. 2517) - a bill that would provide the same family benefits to lesbian and gay federal civilian employees and their partners that mirror those offered to married heterosexual couples. A mark-up session is one of the final steps before the full House of Representatives votes on a bill; sometimes, opponents of a bill use the mark-up session to add amendments intended to kill the bill before it is ever considered by the full House of Representatives, which is why it is essential that your Representative hears from you today!

Domestic Partner Benefits and Obligations Act, introduced by Representative Tammy Baldwin, D (WI-2), would bring employment practices in the federal government in line with those of America's largest and most successful corporations. In fact, 57 percent of Fortune 500 companies provide domestic partner benefits to their employees. In addition, 16 states and more than 200 local governments offer domestic partnership benefits to their public employees.

At COLAGE, we know that families are healthiest and most able to thrive when they receive equal protections, rights and recognition. The Domestic Partner Benefits and Obligations Act would be an important step in treating families with gay and lesbian parents as equals. Please call or email your Representative TODAY and ask for their support on this bill. You can look up your Representative's contact information by clicking HERE. Keep your message short and simple- Identify yourself as a member of COLAGE and tell them why it's important that they pass this bill.

COLAGE is Hiring! Nov 14 09

COLAGE is excited to announce two opportunities to join our team. We are hiring a full-time National Program Director and a part-time national Communications Coordinator.

The COLAGE Program Director is the lead staff for the program department of the organization. The Program Director serves an essential role in providing leadership, strategic direction, management, coordination, development, execution and evaluation of the organization's programs. The Program Director also builds and maintains collaborative relationships and partnerships with other local, statewide, and national organizations, with the goal of enabling as many people with LGBTQ parents as possible to connect with each other and advocate for what matters most to people with LGBTQ parents

The COLAGE Communications Coordinator performs a broad variety of communications functions. We are looking for a skilled, creative, and committed person to assist us in taking our print and online communications to the next level. Primary responsibilities include on-line organizing, editing the COLAGE publication, Just For Us, writing and publishing COLAGE Net News, producing membership communications pieces including an Annual Report, support of organizational media and advocacy efforts through action alerts and public education campaigns and managing the COLAGE website.

View the details of both job openings by clicking HERE.

Invisible Families- a COLAGEr written article about our community Nov 11 09

Invisible Families is a blog post from Matthew Smith-Gonzales, an adult COLAGEr with a gay dad. Read his article HERE.

COLAGE Northeast Regional Chapter Retreat Nov 11 09

COLAGE chapters in the Northeast region are getting together in NYC over the 2010 MLK weekend in a 3 day retreat for teens and adults with one or more Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, and/or Queer Parents! It's an opportunity to share stories, make connections and exchange ideas for building community & amplifying the voices of COLAGErs in our region. It's also a great excuse to escape to NYC for the weekend, and explore the Big Apple with fellow COLAGErs!

This event is for youth & teens ages 15+ and adults with LGBTQ parents from NY, CT, VT, NJ, NH, ME, DE, MD, MA, DC, PA and RI, as well as any other adults involved in the leadership of COLAGE chapters in the region.

Saturday, January 16th - Monday, January 18th.
All activities will be at the NYC Sixth Street Community Center 6th st. betw/ Ave B and Ave C
The retreat will include lunch and dinner on Saturday, breakfast and lunch on Sunday, and breakfast and lunch on Monday. A variety of housing options is available.

To register for this exciting event, click HERE. For more information, email Meredith Fenton, COLAGE Program Director.

COLAGE Speak OUT Member on National Radio Nov 10 09

Becca Lazarus recently represented COLAGE on the Takeaway- a national morning news program. Listen to Becca share her experiences of having two gay dads by clicking HERE.

COLAGE Responds to Maine Marriage Decision Nov 4 09

On Tuesday November 3, 2009, the majority of Maine voters decided to overturn same-sex marriage in the state, passing Question 1. COLAGE is deeply disappointed by this decision, as it negatively impacts LGBTQ families within and outside of Maine.

“I am very disappointed in the voters of my state,” said Hannah Melville, an 18-year old daughter of lesbian mothers. “I do not wish for any child to ever think that his or her family does not deserve equal rights. But that is the message that my community has sent to the children of gay and lesbian parents across the country.”

Though LGBTQ families are just like other families in many ways, people with LGBTQ parents and our families face the everyday reality that our families are discriminated against. Question 1 is another legal blow to LGBTQ families, denying COLAGErs in Maine the protections and recognition that comes with marriage equality.

Divisive ballot measures such as Question 1 effect people with LGBTQ parents throughout the country. “Hopefully, similar to what happened in California with Proposition 8, people in America will cry out and re-commit themselves to working even harder to protect the rights of ALL citizens,” says Fae Silverman, adult daughter of a gay dad living in Portland, Maine.

We at COLAGE will continue to connect people with LGBTQ parents to a network of peers, whether you live in Maine or California, Florida or Arkansas. Let us all work together to ensure children with LGBTQ families gain the rights, recognition and respect that every family deserves.