We are so pleased to announce that Annie Van Avery has accepted the position of Executive Director for the organization and will begin leading the organization as of February 25, 2013. Annie is a COLAGEr herself and has served as a board member for the organization since July 2012. She joins us from Photo Center NW, where she previously served as Executive Director and led the organization to significant growth and great success.

Annie has a fifteen-year history in nonprofit leadership including two previous roles as an Executive Director. She has shown a strong commitment to social justice, youth outreach, and advocacy work. Annie grew up in Minneapolis, Minnesota and has experience with community outreach work in cities on both coasts as well as rural communities. She has a gay father, a lesbian mother who has celebrated 15 years with her partner, and is the mother of two daughters, ages one and thirteen. Annie currently lives in Seattle, Washington where she has spent the past five years leading an organizational transition from crisis to sustainability while volunteering to help support organizations that provide a lifeline to youth in crisis.

Reflecting on a Year of Growth

We are deeply grateful for the incredible work of Barbara Green, our Interim Executive Director, over the past year. It was undoubtedly a rebuilding year, and Barbara skillfully led the organization as we transitioned from a tough financial and operational outlook to our current strong standing. Barbara’s managerial expertise, her personal connection and commitment to our mission, as well as her vast experience helping organizations deal with trying circumstances have made all the difference for this organization. She has helped us develop critically needed capacity on the Board and Staff while also dramatically improving the internal operations of the organization. Barbara has led COLAGE through some difficult times and we now find ourselves a significantly revitalized organization.

More broadly, over the past year we have recruited talented, new board members who have developed an ambitious and focused Strategic Plan for 2013 that will lead the organization into a new era. (The plan will be made public later this month on our website and through social media-stay tuned.) We have brought on a talented new Program Director (Robin Marquis) who has helped us re-engage and empower our chapters, with seven new chapters brought online just over the past few months. We are on track for another successful Family Week this summer as we build on a promising and growing partnership with the Family Equality Council (FEC). We believe our progress, as a reinvigorated organization is nascent and strong because of all these positive developments.

A Word from Annie Van Avery, Incoming Executive Director

“As we look towards our future we see COLAGE serving as a key organization in the LGBTQ family movement. For over twenty years we have supported youth in our families; we are ready to evolve to the needs of our communities to provide continued advocacy over the next twenty years. This landscape is changing rapidly for some of our communities, with marriage equality and new anti-discrimination laws for our parents and anti-bullying initiatives in our schools; while for others the struggle for basic rights and a safe space to come out about a parent’s orientation continues. COLAGE is unique in that it serves all of our communities from New York City to Sacramento, Alaska to Florida and everywhere in between. Key to this work will be our local chapters and partners who best understand the needs of COLAGErs in their regions. We are focused on how we can provide a support structure for the diverse communities that we serve, in partnership with our youth leaders who are the heart of our mission.”

In Closing

The Board and Staff are extremely excited about the promise that this new year holds for us and our community. We commit to building on the success and growth of this past year while constantly improving upon the ways that we serve the over 2 million youth with LGBTQ parents across the United States. Please be on the lookout for our upcoming 2013 Strategic Plan announcement in the coming weeks and more good news from COLAGE.

Sincerely,

Paul Perry

Board Chair

COLAGE

Tips for Medical 

Professionals for Making

Better/Safer Environments

for Youth with LGBTQ

Parents

In the United States alone, there are millions of people with one or more lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and/or queer (LGBTQ) parent(s). While research shows that there are no significant developmental differences or negative effects on children of LGBTQ parents, these youth report facing significantly more prejudice and discrimination because of societal homophobia and transphobia.

LGBTQ families, particularly families that include one or more non-biological parents, face a range of systemic impediments to care and custody of children, including exclusion from a spouse’s health insurance coverage and hostility in school systems and health care settings.

Based on a Kaiser Permanente national survey of nursing students, 8-12 percent “despised” lesbian, gay and bisexual people, 5-12 percent found lesbian, gay and bisexual people “disgusting” and 40-43 percent thought lesbian, gay and bisexual people should keep their sexuality private. Homophobia and transphobia in health care fields impacts the ability of youth with LGBTQ parents and their families to access care.

The Williams Institute published research in October 2006 that shows 20 percent of same-sex couples are uninsured, compared with only 10 percent of married people and 15 percent of the overall population. This means that a higher number of LGBTQ couples as well as their children do not have health coverage. LGBTQ people who are unable to access adequate health care are less able to care for children. Some LGBTQ parents are able to access health coverage through domestic partner benefits. Still, the majority of employers don’t offer domestic-partner benefits, and even among those that do, some people may not feel comfortable taking advantage of them, especially if they are not able to be “out” at work.

Because of stigma and prejudice, and because people with LGBTQ parents and their families represent a minority of the U.S. population—a population that is still not a recognized category in the U.S. census—clinical and public health studies and program evaluation have been scarce in all sectors of health delivery and research.

Medical professionals are the first responders when it comes to making sure people are treated equally, regardless of their differences—like sexual orientation, gender identity or family status. Patients should feel safe and confident when they are in hospitals, clinics, or even on the operating table.

There are simple ways to make the practice environment safer and more welcoming for children of LGBTQ parent(s) and their families. Simple changes in everything from patient forms to office décor can have a significant impact on the comfort level and interactivity of a child of LGBTQ parent(s) of any age. Open communications between medical professional and patient not only make the relationship easier, but it can also save lives.

The following tips are compiled through our individual and collective experiences as children of LGBTQ parent(s) and are not based on any quantitative or qualitative study or research.

Realize We Are Part of the Community

Understand that while most kids with LGBTQ parents may not be LGBTQ themselves, they are still a large and active part of the “gay community.”  They may not identify outwardly about their role in the community, but are nonetheless a part of it.

Enter a Conversation with an Open Mind

While medicine is about rendering judgment and finding a solution, it best to enter conversations with kids of LGBTQ families judgment-free. Language can be quite stigmatizing. What does the child call their parents? Use accurate pronouns and language when talking about family or people. Practice how you’ll treat a trans-family interaction and be open to critique and feedback.

Show Your Respect for our Families

Show “signs” that LGBTQ families are welcome; even the subtlest hint of acceptance will be felt.  Signs could include a poster, rainbow sticker, visually inclusive brochures or even the posting of a non-discrimination policy. An actual physical sign could be the creation and posting of a unisex bathroom.

Make an Impact with the Right Books and Magazines

It may seem minor, but more powerful than a rainbow sticker on a door, the right books and magazines can really show acceptance. Stock waiting rooms with gay family magazines and books for kids with LGBTQ parents.

Change Patient Intake Forms

Nothing can annoy children of LGBTQ parents more than intake forms. Whether it is a school release form, college application or a medical history sheet, the assumption that we have a mother and father that we know and can give information on is sometimes daunting and off-putting. Changing forms to be more general and open to multiple parents may give more information than needed, but is conveys a sense of acceptance to the patient.

Re-evaluate Policies and Procedures

Visitation rules are probably the most mentioned form of discrimination among kids of LGBTQ parents. Policies are created to limit the number of people and protect children from exposure, but imagine a child getting their tonsils taken out can only be visited by their one biological mother or father. And not all LGBTQ families can afford powers of attorney to override access to loved ones. Redefining “family” to stretch beyond bloodlines can only aid in patient care.

Know the Ins and Outs of  “Outness”

Kids of LGBTQ parents are at different levels of outness when it comes to their families and even their own acceptance. Just because the parents are open doesn’t mean the kids are. Gauge the level of openness through conversation. Ask questions.

Avoid Assumptions in All Aspects of Work

One of the first questions children of LGBTQ parents are asked is “Are you gay?” Usually the answer is no—studies have shown that children with LGBTQ are no more likely to be LGBTQ themselves than children of heterosexual parents. People also assume that because the child’s parents are “defined” by sex that the child is all-knowing of sex and the gay community. Assumptions are avoided in rendering medical decisions as they should be in rendering understanding of a patient’s life.

Teach Yourself and Teach Others

Bring in workplace training on LGBTQ families, or bring in specialists in areas of trans-families or adoptive families. Seek out LGBTQ medical associations and organizations and be an ambassador to others, like patients and co-workers. Medical professionals have a power link to the community and can create a significant difference in discrimination and stigma-reduction.

What you should know about children with one or more LGBTQ Parent(s):

• We look no different than our peers.
• We are very aware of discrimination against our families (even if the parents are trying to shield us).
• About 10 percent of us are 2ndGen (Second Generation), which means we identify as LGBTQ.
• We come from all types of families—we are children of divorced parents, ethnically diverse families, hetero-appearing families, trans-parented families and blended families.
• A large number of children are adopted into gay families.
• We face great pressures from family and society to be or at least appear “straight,” “normal” or “perfect,” in addition to all the other pressure our peers face through life.
• This pressure also makes it difficult for us and our families to admit when there are challenges such as abuse in our families.
• We often like to protect our families and not tell when we face or hear discrimination.
• We do not always know our biological medical history.
• We understand what it means to be different.

You’re in Good Company!

An Introduction to Famous People with LGBTQ Parents

Ever felt like you were the only one with one or more lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and/or queer parent(s)? Not only are there millions of other children, youth and adults who have LGBTQ parents, but some of them are celebrities! This list introduces just a few of the many famous people who have or had one or more LGBTQ parent.

Adrian Hood

Daughter of legendary lesbian folk singer Alix Dobkin. Adrian was born in New York City in 1970 when her mother was still married. And in 1972 her mother came out and her mother’s partner Liza Cowan moved in. Later in 1975 when Adrian was four and a half they moved to the country. They raised a child at a time when parenting was not popular within the lesbian and gay community.

Alexander Aegus (King Alexander IV)

As the son of Alexander the Great, Alexander met an early death at the age of thirteen. As a conse­quence of the time, Alexander Aegus and his mother were killed by Cassader in a statement of revenge and as a power shift. Alexander’s father was known to have a great love for his male lover Hephasteian, who after his death was shortly followed to his grave by Alexander the Great.

Alexandra Elizabeth “Ally” Sheedy (Actor)

The daughter of marketing executive John Sheedy and a lesbian literary agent Charlotte, Ally began making TV com­mercials and appearing on stage at age 15. She published a children’s book, She Was Nice to Mice. She has also been published in periodicals such as The New York Times. After high school, the New York-born Sheedy headed west to the University of California where, in addition to her studies, she also appeared in television films. At age 21, she began her feature-film career playing adoles­cent girls in films such as Bad Boys and War Games. She joined the notorious “Brat Pack” in 1985 after appearing in John Hughes’ The Breakfast Club. Some of Ally’s other Rim Highlights include St. Elmo’s Fire, Short Circuit, Chantilly Lace and High Art. She is married to actor David Lansbury, stepson of actress Angela Lansbury, and they have a daughter, Rebecca, born in 1994.

“I never thought to myself, I’m going to grow up and fall in love with a man or I’m going to fall in love with a woman because my mother is a lesbian.”

Alison Bechdel (Comic artist)

Alison Bechdel is best known for her long-running comic strip Dykes To Watch Out For. She grew up in rural Pennsylvania and is the queer daughter of a gay father. She has published 10 books of Dykes To Watch Out For and has won four Lambda Literary Awards for Humor.

Anne Heche (actress)

Born in Ohio, she moved 11 times before she was 12. Her father was a fundamentalist church organist who admitted to being gay after he was diagnosed with AIDS. She supported her mother, two sisters and a brother by acting in a dinner theater in Atlantic City. Beginning with a long-standing Emmy Award ­winning role in the soap opera Another World, Anne Heche moved on to a career in film including Donnie Brasco, Volcano, and Wag The Dog.

Charles I of England (1625 King of England)

Son of a gay father James I of England who also had a gay grandfather Lord Damly. He famously engaged in a struggle for power with the Parliament of England. He is also the only person to be canonized by the Church of England after the English Reformation.

Corin Redgrave (Actor)

British stage and film actor Corin Redgrave is the son of theatrical luminaries Michael Redgrave who hap­pened to be bisexual and Rachel Kempson, and the brother of actors Vanessa and Lynn Redgrave (also profiled in this resource). He first embarked upon acting while attending Cam­bridge, acting in productions staged by the Marlowe Society. He made his professional stage debut in 1963, and appeared in his first film in 1966, playing William Roper in the Oscar-winning film A Man for All Seasons. Among his myriad of stage credits was Alan Ayckbourn’s comic trilogy The Norman Con­quests, in which he starred as the bed-hopping Norman. Easing comfortably into character roles in his fifties, Corin Redgrave starred as Hamish in the runaway movie hit 4 Weddings and a Funeral in 1993.

50 Cent (aka Curtis Jackson) (Hip-hop Artist)

Born into a notorious Queens drug dynasty during the late ’70s, 50 Cent lost those closest to him at an early age. Raised without a father, 50′s mother, who was bisexual but also involved in drugs was found dead under mysterious circumstances before he reached his teens. The orphaned youth was taken in by his grandparents, who provided for 50. After living a dangerous and notorious street life during his teens, the birth of his son put things in perspective for the post adolescent, and 50 began to pursue rap seriously. He signed to Columbia Records in 1999 where a first recording session turned out 36 songs in a short period, which resulted in “Power Of A Dollar,” an unreleased masterpiece that Blaze Magazine judged a classic. Later mentored by Eminem and Dr. Dre, 50 Cent became one of the most well-known rap artists of the recent past.

“I talk about my moms kissing a girl. Really, I don’t know to what extent she was a lesbian. I did see something that was a little awkward… I was eight years old when my mama passed, so how much information would I have about that, honestly?”

Cyril and Vyvyan Wilde (Authors)

These brothers were the children of Oscar Wilde. Vyvyan went on to write several favorable books about his father including Son of Oscar Wilde and A Pictorial Biography of Oscar Wilde.

Daniela Sea (Actress, musician)

At the age of 3, Daniela’s father came out as gay. She has played guitar in the band Gr’ups, traveled around the world, and played the role of Moira/Max on The L Word. Daniela identifies as queer and genderqueer herself, and is about to perform in her first feature film.

“My dad’s gay, and I was going to gay pride marches since I was a baby, and there was never a question of not being out.  He taught me to be self-determined and to listen to my heart. I think my parents raised me as an empowered person.” (EDGE Magazine)

Dorothy Dandridge (Actress, singer, dancer)

African American actress, singer, dancer Dorothy Dandridge, the daughter of lesbian stage and screen actress Ruby Dandridge, began performing profes­sionally in the song-and-dance duo “The Wonder Children” with her sister Vivian at age four; they toured parts of the South, performing at churches, schools, and social gatherings. In the 1930s her family relocated to Los Angeles. Dorothy performed in the Marx brother’s comedy A Day at the Races, in the group the Dandridge Sisters, the film Going Places, and Sun Valley Serenade. After her marriage to Harold Nicholas, she put her career on hold for a while, but the birth of a severely brain-damaged daughter strained her marriage and it soon ended in divorce. After that she put most of her energy into her career and went on to appear in Tarzan’s Peril and Carmen Jones for which she received a “Best Actress” Oscar nomination, becoming the first black woman to do so. Three years went by before her next role, in Islands in the Sun, in which she again made history by being the first black actress cast romantically with a white actor in a film.

Edward III (King of England, 1327)

Son of Isabella and Edward II. In 1327 Edward II was deposed and brutally murdered by his mother Isabella and her lover, Roger Mortimer. So at fifteen, Edward III became king of England, a puppet king until just three years later, he asserted his independence, had Mortimer executed, and sent his scheming mother into retirement.

Elizabeth Lorde-Rollins (poet)

The daughter of feminist, lesbian poet Audre Lorde, Elizabeth followed in her mother footsteps and her work can be found in the book The Arc of Love: An Anthology of Lesbian Love Poems.

Faustina

Daughter of High renaissance Italian painter, II Sodoma, Faustina went on to marry one of her father’s former boyfriends.

J.I. Ackerley (Author, editor)

Not only did Ackerley’s father have a secret hidden family, but also it was later discovered that his father was the “kept” lover of a German Count. As a sec­ond-generation gay man, Ackerly wrote the play, The Prisoners and the books My Father & Myself and My Dog Tulip and We Think the World of You.

James C. Hormel Jr.

In 1999, James (along with his brother and sisters) played a vital role in getting his gay father appointed to the position of Am­bassador to Luxembourg. When the Republican Congress was holding the appointment, James came to the aid of his father with a large series of op-ed articles and interviews. The articles appeared across the country and described what it was like to have a gay father and that Congress’s discrimination not only affected his father but the entire family.

‘While I was growing up, my father never tried to influence my sexuality in any way. What he did teach me was kindness, acceptance of others, honesty, self-esteem, and standing up for what you believe.” (Pacific News Service)

James I of England (James V of Scotland)

Son of Mary, Queen of Scots (1542-1587) had a gay father, Lord Darnly and was also gay himself.

Jamie Anne Maria, Alexander Serge Leonard, & Nina Maria Felicia

Children of Chilean-born actress Felicia Montealegre Cohn and Leonard Bernstein, the first gay American musician to achieve worldwide recognition; known as a conductor, composer, pianist, author and teacher.

Jena Malone (Actress)

Jena has appeared in such movies as Saved, Stepmom, Hope (A TV movie) and Bastard Out of Carolina. These have won her a Golden Globe nomination, an Independent Spirit Award in 1997 for Best Debut Performance and a SAG Award in 1997 for Outstanding Performance by a Female Actor in a TV Movie or Miniseries. Jena was born in Lake Tahoe, Nevada and moved to Southern California. Her mother was active in community theater so Jena got very comfortable around the theater at an early age. Until age 10, Malone lived in Lake Tahoe, Nev., raised by two moms. Then her birth mother broke up with her lover and became a born-again Christian. Legally emancipated since 2000, Malone says she is close to her large extended family, which includes four brothers and two sisters.

Jodie Foster (Actress, producer, director)

Born Alicia Christian Foster, on November 19, 1962, in Los Angeles, California. Foster’s father, Lieutenant-Colonel Lucius Fisher Foster III, a former Battle of Britain fighter and one of the most highly decorated fliers in the US Airforce, left the family before she was born. Her lesbian mother, Evelyn “Brandy”, supported herself and her four children by working for a film producer. Jodie has three siblings Lucinda, Constance and Buddy. She and her three older siblings grew up with “two mothers”—Brandy and her live-in lover, Josephine Dominguez, known affectionately as Aunt Jo. Although she was christened Alicia Christian, Foster was called Jodie by the family, after Jo D. Foster played a breakthrough role of a teenage prostitute in Taxi Driver and since then has shined on the screen in such movies as The Accused (for which she won an Oscar), Little Man Tate, The Silence of the Lambs (for which she won another Oscar), Contact, Nell and Anna and the King. Not only known as one of the most influential women in Hollywood, Foster has a long list of awards for her work behind the scenes as director. She lives in the San Fernando Valley with her son, Charles, who was born on July 20,1998. Jodi also just came out in Jan 2013 as a lesbian which makes her 2^nd Gen!

Joe Valentine (Baseball Player)

Joe is a baseball pitcher for the Houston Astros. In 1997 he graduated from Deer Park (NY) High School and went on to play. baseball at Jefferson Davis Community College in Brewton, AL. At JDCC, Joe was named to the NJCAA All-Region XXII squad after going 8-1, 2.56 with 7 saves. Valentine, from Long Island, N.Y., was the subject of a lengthy article in Newsday about being raised by two lesbians, Deb Valentine (his biological mom) and Doreen Price, who raised him since his birth in Las Vegas in 1979. The couple has been together for 30 years. Joe never knew his dad and he has grown up a supportive son who loves the two women who raised him.

“It’s no different than having a mother and father. These are the two women who raised me, and they are wonderful people. It’s just not a big deal to me. Why should it be?”  (Outsports.com)

Joely Richardson (Actress)

Joely is the daughter of award winning actress Vanessa Redgrave, and bisexual film director Tony Richardson who also had a bisexual grandfather (Sir Michael Redgrave). Joely Richardson is a Golden Globe nominated actress who has a long film and stage career.

Judy Garland (Gumm) (Actress)

Entertainer Judy Garland, granddaughter of a gay businessman was both one of the greatest and one of the most tragic figures in American show business. Judy had roles and performed in Pigskin Parade Broadway Melody of 1938, Listen Darling (1938), and so on. When MGM planned to star 20th Century­Fox’s Shirley Temple in The Wizard of Oz, Garland almost didn’t get her most celebrated role, but the deal fell through and Garland was cast as Dorothy. Even after this, the actress nearly lost out on her definitive screen moment when the studio decided to cut the song “Over the Rainbow”, finally keeping the number after it tested well in previews. The Wizard of Oz made Garland a star. In 1945 she married director Vincente Minnelli, with whom she had a daughter, Liza, in 1946. Garland and Vincente Minnelli divorced in 1951, whereupon she married Sid Luft. On June 22, 1969, the day of the Stonewall Rebellion, Judy Garland was found dead in her London apartment, the victim of an ostensibly accidental overdose of barbiturates.

Kaitlin Colombo (Comic)

A comedienne who made her professional debut in her teens, Kaitlin grew up in Southern California with her single, gay father. She became more widely known as a contestant on the Last Comic Standing and MTV’s the Reality Show.

Katharine Symonds Furse (Government official)

Katharine and her three sisters were the children of famed gay English essayist and historian John Addington Symonds (1840-1893). Born in Clifton, Bristol, young Katharine spent most of her childhood in Davos, Switzerland where Symonds had relocated the family in search of a better climate for his tuberculosis. In 1900 she married the painter, Charles W. Furse who also suffered from tuberculosis. They had two sons, Peter and John Paul. 1875 Katherine led the first VAD (Vol­untary Aid Detachment) Corps to France October 1914, headed the British Red Cross Women’s VAD Department, served as a Commandant in Chief of the Joint Women’s VAD Department 1916 and became the first head of the Women’s Royal Naval Service (WRENS) in 1917. She remained the head of the WRENS until they were demobilized in 1919. After the war, Katharine Furse continued her pioneering work in women’s service. She worked closely for years with the Girl Guides and for ten years was Director of the World Association of Girl Guides and Girl Scouts.

Klaus Mann (Author)

Famous German author of the novel “Mefisto” (made into a film), gay himself, he was the son of even more famous novelist Tho­mas Mann (“Budenbrooks”, “Magic Mountain”), who openly wrote about his own homosexuality in his secret diaries.

Kyra Nijinsky (Dancer)

Daughter of gay Russian dancer Vaslav Nijinsky, Kyra starred in She Dances Alone. As the leading charac­ter in the semi-documentary psychograph, Kyra reflected on the phenomenon and the tragic destiny of her father, the Russian choreographer and ballet dancer Vaslav Nijinsky.

Lynn Redgrave (Actress)

Lynn, best known for her roles in Shine, God’s and Monsters and Georgy Girl is the daughter of distin­guished bisexual actor Sir Michael Redgrave and sister of Vanessa. Lynn Redgrave has made significant contributions to her illustrious family’s five generation long reputation for producing fine British actors. The London-born Lynn studied acting at the Central School of Music and Drama. She first appeared on stage in a 1962 pro­duction of A Midsummer Night’s Dream at the Royal Court Theatre. She was next invited by Sir Laurence Olivier to become on of the first members in Britain’s National Theatre. There she appeared in Hamlet as well as in many other prestigious Productions. In the late 1990s, Redgrave staged a successful one-­woman show, Shakespeare for My Father.

Malcolm Stevenson “Steve” Forbes Jr. (CEO and Publisher)

Born July 18, 1947, is the son of gay father Malcolm Stevenson Forbes Sr. and the editor-in-chief of business magazine Forbes as well as president and chief executive officer of its publisher, Forbes Inc. He was a candidate in the U.S. Presidential primaries in 1996 and 2000.  His brothers Christopher, Robert and Timothy Forbes have all long worked for the magazine or at least the parent company.

Mary Godwin Wolistoncraft Shelley (Author)

Daughter of Mary Wollstonecraft, a lesbian author who wrote Vindication of the Rights of Man. Mary Godwin Wollstonecraft went on to marry poet Percy Bysshe Shelley, and more importantly went on to write Frankenstein.

Minnie Hall

The adopted daughter of Tammany Hall politician, and bail bondsman Murray Hall. Minnie’s father, a confident of State Senator Barney Martin was found to be actually Mary Anderson after his death in 1901. Murray Hall died from breast cancer, which was not diagnosed because of his fear of discovery.

Natasha Richardson (Actress)

Stage and screen performer who is the daughter of award winning actress Vanessa Redgrave, and bisexual film director Tony Richardson and also had a bisexual grandfather (Sir Michael Redgrave). Natasha lost her father, director Tony Richardson, to AIDS in 1991. Since her father’s death she’s taken a hands-on role in AIDS work, including organizing the American Foundation for AIDS Research’s hugely successful auction of Oscar dresses last year. Married to fellow actor Liam Neesom, Natasha is a mother of two sons.

“When I was about 10 or 11 I said to my mother, ‘Is my papa gay?’ She said yes, and I remember being very upset by that. I’m not sure quite why. There’s the social stigma when you’re in school … and I guess at the time you think your parents are gods. I guess, because of the world I’ve been brought up in, I just don’t categorize people. I don’t think, oh, that’s a bisexual person, that’s a gay person, that’s a straight person.”(From Playbill magazine).

Nicole Bobek (Ice skater)

Know for an outgoing personality on the ice and unusual grace and artistry, Nicole Bobek grew up in Chicago, with her lesbian mother, Jana Bobek who skated in minor competitions in her youth in her native Czechoslovakia. Nicole was put into skates at age 31/2 and Jana guided her daughter’s progress for a while, then put her into a class. Nicole was the 1995 United States skating champion and a Bronze medal at the World Level.

Nigel Nicolson (Author)

Nicolson wrote Portrait of a Marriage. In the book Nicholson writes of the marriage of his famous parents, the author Vita Sackville-West (who was Virginia Woolf’s longtime lover) and author, politician and diarist, Harold Nicolson, also a bisexual.

Noriko and Iichiro Mishima

Children of Yoko Suqiyama (eldest daughter of Japanese painter Yasushi Sugiyama) and gay author Yukio Mishima, the most spectacu­larly talented young writer to emerge in Japan after World War II. Their father at the peak of a brilliant literary career and at the age of forty-five committed the ritual suicide called Seppuku on November 25, 1970.

Orenthal James (OJ) Simpson (Athlete and actor)

Considered one of the greatest running backs in American football history, OJ in the early 1990′s became a household name that sparked conversations across the United States on race, wealth, and fame. He was born near San Francisco at StanfordUniversityHospital on 9 July 1947, the son of Jimmie and Eunice Durden Simpson. Simpson’s father, a well-known San Francisco drag queen, died of AIDS in 1986.  In June of 1994, Nicole Brown and Ronald Goldman were found brutally murdered, Simpson was charged with the two murders but found not guilty in criminal court though later convicted in civil court of their murders.

Rebecca Walker (Author, activist)

Rebecca is the daughter of lesbian author, Alice Walker and is the co-founder of the Third Wave, a small feminist organization that began in 1992. She recently wrote “To Be Real: Telling the Truth and Changing the Face of Feminism. Her mother is known for such novels as The Color Purple.

Rene Russo (Actress)

Born in 1954, Rene Russo grew up on the wrong side of the tracks in Burbank, a Los Angeles suburb. Her father, a sculptor and mechanic, left the family when Rene was just two, leaving her mother, Shirley, as a single lesbian mom with two daughters. (Rene has one sister, named Toni). As a 17 year old, Rene was discovered suddenly and within a few months, she had signed a contract with Ford Modeling Agency and within a year had become a successful print and photographer model. Her television series debut came in 1987 with a supporting part on the short-lived TV series “Sable.” Some of her most notable film appearances include Major League, Ransom, The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, and as an internal affairs detective in Lethal Weapon 3. Rene Russo has been praised for her ability to hold her own against her major male co-stars. Rene Russo has been married to screenwriter Dan Gilroy since 1992, and they have one daughter, named Rose.

“When I was born—oh I am going to cry—my dad left and it was women in my life that were gay that raised me and that helped me and nurtured me.” (On ABC’s Good Morning America)

Vanessa Redgrave (Actress)

Vanessa, known for her roles in The Trojan Women, Mary Queen of Scots, Howards End, Wilde and Deep Impact, is the daughter of distinguished bisexual actor Sir Michael Redgrave. Vanessa Redgrave is widely regarded as one of Great Britain’s finest modern dramatic actresses. Born January 30, 1937 in London, Redgrave studied drama at London’s Central School of Music and Dance. She made her theatrical debut in 1957 and her film debut the following year in the dreadful Behind the Mask, which also starred her father. She had two children; Joely and Natasha Richardson, by bisexual director Tony Richardson, and in 1969 had a child by her Camelot co-star Franco Nero. Redgrave won an Oscar for best supporting actress for her role in Julia (1977).

2^nd Gen FAQ

For lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, queer, and questioning folks with LGBT Q parents

What is this Second Generation thing anyway?

Second Generation is a term that we use to describe queer, lesbian, transgender, bisexual, gay, and questioning children who also have gay parents. Second Genners come from a diverse range of family make-ups, gender identities, and cultures. Some of us came out after our parents were out to us and some of us came out before. We all have different experiences.

How did Second Generation start?

As long as there have been children with gay parents, there have been Second Genners (in fact, legend has it, that there are 3^rd, 4^th, and 5^th Genners running around also.)

In 1992 Dan Cherubin, a gay man with a lesbian mom, started the first official organization for Second Generation COLAGErs called “Second Generation.” In 1998, Dan was featured in a New York Times article on Second Generation children. Shortly after that COLAGE and Second Generation partnered up. COLAGE featured articles by Dan Cherubin and Second Gen COLAGEr Kate Ranson-Walsh in Just For Us, the COLAGE publication. This program is no longer an active part of COLAGE but as long as there are 2^nd Gen-ners, there will be space at COLAGE for their identities to be explored and cherished.

Did having gay parents make you gay?

The growing body of research on children with LGBTQ parents shows that kids with gay parents are no more likely to be gay than kids with straight parents. In other words, while the causes of sexual orientation are still up for debate, having a gay parent does not make you gay.

Our #1 favorite response to this question is, “Why does it matter?” or “So what if they did?”

Did you make your parents gay?

We would like to think so…..

Just kidding!

Some of us actually come out before our parents do. Sometimes that might influence their decision to come out. But the research shows that parents’ sexual orientation does not determine their children’s sexual orientation, and we think its probably true the other way around too.

Was coming out easier for you because you had gay parents?

Often youth raised in LGBTQ families express that they feel the experience has allowed them to have a more open mind, be more respectful of all differences, and to be aware of the fluidity of sexuality and gender. In this way, many COLAGErs find that realizing that they were gay was easier because of their parents.

Once the subject turns to coming out, again…we all have different family experiences.

Some of us have struggled with our parents. Many gay parents are scared or saddened when their kids come out because they don’t want them to face homophobia or violence as a queer person. Some parents feel guilty, thinking that their own sexuality has affected ours. But, for some of us, having gay parents made it easier for us to come out. We knew that they would be supportive and loving and understand our struggle. Many of us have a lot of support from our parents.

Coming out to our LGBTQ parents also varies greatly for each of our experiences. Some find it difficult- they worry that by coming out to their parents they will be letting them down. Others are excited to come out.

Generational differences between young and old LGBTQ communities also affect our experiences. Differences around language (eg words such as queer), approaches to gender, political differences, and more are often a factor in the different gay identities that we as the “children” and that of our parents might embrace.

Another challenging situation that some Second Gen COLAGErs face occurs when they are the kid of both a gay parent and a straight parent. Coming out as LGBTQ can be difficult if they fear that their straight parent will see this as a way they are “siding with” the gay parent.

“Oh, you must have had it so easy then, as a gay kid.”

Much of what makes being an LGBTQ person difficult is the rampant homophobia in our society. Having a gay family unfortunately does not counter the challenges due to homophobia that we face as LGBT people.

Again our experiences vary.

I’m a gay parent who has a Second Gen child. WHAT DO I DO?!?!?

Ah.  Easy Steps to Being a Super Gay Parent of a Gay Child:

1. Research books, articles, and websites by and for LGBTQ youth. This will help you understand some of the issues that queer young people are talking about today, and will allow you to be a resource for your own child. We recommend the following websites:
2. Be real about your own feelings with your child. If you are feeling angry, sad, guilty, scared it’s important to talk about why you feel that way and to hear your child’s response. Get yourself some support…you can support your child more if you feel supported yourself. We recommend checking out PFLAG (Parents and Friends of Lesbians and Gays), The Family Pride Coalition, or your local LGBTQ parents group. For more resources for gay parents visit the “Parents” section of the COLAGE website: http://www.colage.org/parents/index.html
3. Ending homophobia starts at home.
4. There is no one way to be gay. Often kids feel pressure from their parents after coming out to be a certain kind of gay person. Your gay identity and that of your child may vary on identity politics, gender issues, political topics, and more. Recognize that both of you have your own, real, and valid way of being and expressing your LGBTQ identity.

San Francisco, October 7th

Join us as we as one of our upcoming house parties!  We are holding parties around the country to provide opportunities for people to gather and learn more about COLAGE and our great COLAGErs!  email us at: Colage@colage.org to find out where to find a party near you OR how to host one yourself!

Contact:
Paul Perry
Board of Directors
paul@colage.org
(617) 245-8602

COLAGE Executive Director to Vacate Position on December 31, 2011

San Francisco – Today the Board of Directors of COLAGE: People with Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Queer (LGBTQ) Parents, announces that Executive Director Beth Teper will resign at the end of the year. Under Teper’s eight years of leadership, COLAGE has quadrupled its annual budget and developed a number of innovative programs and initiatives. Teper led COLAGE through a period of immense growth and acclaim as an organization and as a community.

“Beth has inspired countless people with LGBTQ parents and their families to work together to create a world that treats all families with dignity and respect. Over the last eight years she has helped COLAGE become the amazing national organization we all know it to be. We are profoundly grateful for her contributions and wish her the best in her coming endeavors,” said Aaron Sachs, Chair of the Board.

Throughout the years Teper has overseen the growth of over fifteen COLAGE chapters, the publication of groundbreaking COLAGE resources such as the Kids of Trans Guide and Donor Insemination Guide, and ensured LGBTQ families were fairly and accurately represented in the media through partnerships with MTV, ABC, and Focus Features. Under Teper’s leadership thousands of youth and families have been able to connect to a community of their peers and become better advocates for themselves and their families – from chapter meetings and regional retreats to Family Week in Provincetown, MA.

“Serving COLAGE has been an honor that I will cherish for a lifetime. Being involved in this extraordinary community of peers who have LGBTQ parents has been incredibly powerful. I have learned so much from all of the youth and families I have met over the years, and will continue to be a part of the COLAGE family,” said Teper, “I have full faith and confidence that COLAGE’s national Board of Directors and constituents will steward COLAGE, the nation’s only youth-driven network of people with LGBTQ parents, into a very bright future.”

The Board has formed a succession committee which includes staff, board, and stakeholders. Led by Board Chair Aaron Sachs (aaron@colage.org), the succession committee has put into place a timeline and process to ensure a smooth transition of leadership. The Board is in the process of selecting an Interim Executive Director for COLAGE who will steward the organization through its next strategic planning process until new leadership is hired by the board.

For more information and all inquiries please contact Paul Perry, COLAGE Board of Directors, at
paul@colage.org, (617) 245-8602.

COLAGE is the only national youth-driven network of people with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer parents. Living in a world that treats our families differently can be isolating or challenging. By connecting us with peers who share our experience, COLAGE helps us become strong advocates for ourselves and our families.