Why did you make the film?
I grew up with a lesbian mom (she came out after my parents separated when I was ten) and when I was younger I had a sense of frustration at not seeing families like mine in the media. For years I've wanted to make a documentary that would discuss issues that gay and lesbian families face -- from the point of view of the sons and daughters. I'd love for kids of gay and lesbian parents around the country to be able to turn on the TV and see some part of their lives reflected in this documentary.
What do you hope will come from this film?
I'd like to use OUR HOUSE to start conversations about children of lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) parents. I believe that educating a larger public about our families, and being visible, will have a positive influence. I know that if no homophobia existed in this world, having gay or lesbian parents wouldn't be such an issue. I really hope there will be more films, more books and more documentaries that represent our families.
What do you hope people will learn?
There's very little understanding of the lives of children of gay and lesbian parents, and there are a lot of judgmental assumptions about our families. That's what creates problems for these kids -- there's nothing inherently problematic about having gay or lesbian parents. I think that people who watch OUR HOUSE will see five very normal families, who are facing the same ups and downs of any family along with the extra pressure of homophobia.
How did you find the families? We spent about four or five months searching for families. It was important for me to represent diversity in terms of race, ethnicity, religion, socio-economics and geography. I also wanted to also to show the influence of a variety of factors -- divorce, donor insemination, blended families, adoption, couples, single parents, second generation sons and daughters, young kids, teens and grown kids in a multitude of environments.
COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) was a great supporter from early on. With their help, we reached out to people through churches, advocacy organizations and LGBT centers. Nearly 300 families responded. I visited with dozens of families all over the country and then had to make some really hard choices to narrow down the group to five.
What resources exist for kids of LGBT parents?
There are a number of groups around the country that specifically address the needs of kids of LGBT parents. COLAGE (Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere) is a great starting point. I believe it's important for kids of gay parents to have a supportive community. Some of us are lucky to have that in our neighborhoods, cities or towns, but others need to seek that out. I encourage sons and daughters of any age to check out their resources. At age 30, I'm a member.
Have any of the subjects seen the film and, if so, what is their reaction?
All of the families in OUR HOUSE have seen the film and their responses have been very positive. Part of that is because I worked hard to find families who understood why I wanted to make this documentary, and were willing to be open and honest during the process. They're all sharing the documentary with friends, family and their community and that's exciting to have them as partners in getting the word out.
What projects are you working on now?
I'm now producing (with co-producer/director, Thom Powers at Sugar Pictures) a documentary about mothers and gun violence. We're also working on a documentary about an experimental new courthouse in Red Hook, Brooklyn.