Should Gay Couples Have The Right To Adopt Children in Virginia?: MyFoxDC.com

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Mark Snyder, Communications Coordinator

We should congratulate Elton John and his partner in welcoming a new child into their family and for shedding light on the discrimination of babies and children living with HIV/AIDS. Many people with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer (LGBTQ) parents have experienced the impact of the HIV/AIDS epidemic. In our new film and interactive timeline, Family Time you can hear personal stories about the impact of HIV/AIDS on the LGBTQ family movement.

The news coverage of Elton John’s decision to adopt is an opportunity for us to examine the way people treat families with LGBTQ parents, the way our laws and adoption agencies treat families with LGBTQ parents, and the ways in which the many forms and systems of oppression and discrimination affect the way adoption works around the world.

Homophobic Reactions & Homophobia in Adoption Laws and Policies
Recently, a manager at Harps grocery store in Arkansas decided the cover of a popular magazine featuring Elton and his family was too offensive for other families see. They censored it with a plastic “family shield” until the store’s headquarters heard about the situation and quickly removed the censorship. I applaud Harps for taking quick action and apologizing for the offense.

As people with LGBTQ parents we experience this kind of censorship way too often – at school and in our communities. Our voices are regularly left out of discussions about families during school-wide celebrations like Mother’s and Father’s Days or family tree projects. And  families with LGBTQ parents often face systemic discrimination. Our parents can still legally be fired or not hired in many states. Adoption laws and Adoption agencies also discriminate against LGBTQ parents and potential parents in many states. There are too many variations and inconsistencies in the laws to list in this post! (See below for more resources.)

Issues to think about
Aside from the discrimination and homophobic reactions to their new family, Elton’s  adoption and other “celebrity adoptions” raise concerns and questions that make us search deep within for moral and ethical answers about the state of adoption in the world today. At COLAGE we know that the many people who have been adopted struggle with finding the answers to these questions and solutions to these societal problems.

Many people assume that children who are adopted are orphans. This is not usually the case. More often than not children who are adopted have been torn from their families due to a combination of economic hardship and systemic discrimination. The biological father and other relatives of one of Madonna’s children made news recently when he came forward to seek visitation rights.

According to the nonprofit organization EveryChild, an international development charity “working to stop children growing up vulnerable and alone,” over 95% of the children living with HIV/AIDS in orphanages in the Ukraine are not orphans. Furthermore, they have found that the publicity surrounding celebrity adoptions can encourage mothers to give up their children to orphanages in the hopes that their child may also find a home in a wealthy family.

Issues of racial and economic injustice and discrimination affect every aspect of life in the United States, including our own system of adoption.  That’s why Charlie Spiegel, an adoptive parent in San Francisco founded On Your Feet to help “birth mothers in achieving the personal and financial independence they need to take care of themselves and their families.” Lisa Marie Rollins, also a San Franciscan, founded Adopted  and Fostered Adults of the African Diaspora which “connects, supports, and advocates for the needs of the African Diaspora adoption and foster care community on a global level ”

In the United States there is a growing number of children of color being adopted by white parents, particularly in the LGBTQ community. In San Francisco, over 80% of new adoptions are by LGBTQ parents. This reality is sparking important dialogue about how culture and class relate to adoption. Should white adoptive parents be required to live in an area where their child will see other people of color? Should they be required to undergo anti-racism and cultural competency training before adopting? Why is there such a disproportionate number of children of color in the foster care system? What are the psychological implications on youth who were transracially adopted?

I hope to be a parent someday, so for me, and I think for many of us, now is time to ask these hard questions and have real conversations about the ethical and moral dilemmas involved in the adoption process.

More articles and organizations:

• CNN “Charity Urges Caution over Elton John’s ‘Adoption Plan’
• CNN “Transracial adoptions: A ‘feel good’ act or no ‘big deal’?”
• Cover Awards: “Harps Stores Causes Outrage By Censoring Us Weekly Elton John Cover”
• Adopted and Fostered Adults of the African Diaspora
• EveryChild
• Lambda Legal: Adoption Laws by State
• On Your Feet

In a case brought by the ACLU on behalf of Martin Gill and his partner who sought to adopt the two siblings they’ve fostered since 2004, a Florida district appeals court ruled to be unconstitutional a state law banning gay people from becoming adoptive parents. The Governor then affirmed that Florida would immediately stop enforcing the ban.

COLAGE Families Rejoice in Reaction to the Ruling:

COLAGE Board Member, Steve Scarlato who lives in Orlando, FL:

“As the adult son of a gay father and as a gay parent myself, I am immensely gratified to finally see this injustice removed from the books. Like the judges, I believe it is ‘in the best interests of the child’ for my partner and I to both be legally recognized as parents to our son who we have been raising together for five years. In fact, we look forward to proudly and immediately setting the court dates when our status as our son’s parents will be legally affirmed and we may jointly welcome a second son into our family.”

Isaac Calhoun, 16 year-old COLAGE Jacksonville, FL Chapter Leader:

“As a teenager with lesbian parents, I never liked the fact that my moms couldn’t adopt if they wanted to because what if they couldn’t have a baby for some medical reason? Now I know that if one day they wanted to adopt a child, I could have another younger sibling. In fact, now that the ban is lifted, maybe I can have a little sister. ”
family

Sheila Calhoun (one of Isaac’s moms):

“Florida’s ban on adoption has been a barrier in the past, preventing my partner and I from even considering foster parenting simply because we knew that, should we wish to formally adopt a child placed with us, we would be unable to and that would be very unfair to the child. I believe this ban being lifted is important to the thousands of children currently awaiting placement!”

People with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer parents know that in a system where thousands of children are in need of stable and nurturing homes, qualified adults must be allowed to become adoptive parents. At the same time, children have a right and must be supported to maintain a connection to their biological heritage and cultural roots.

As COLAGE celebrates this pivotal legal victory, we honor all the children, youth and families who, for over three decades, have courageously shared your lives and advocated for your unique families with teachers, social workers, policymakers and judges in an effort to gain the rights, recognition and respect that all families deserve.

If you were adopted by a gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender or queer parent, let your community know how important this court decision is to you and your family. Write a letter in your school paper; talk about it with friends and extended family members; share your story with COLAGE so we can continue to make the changes that matter most to LGBTQ families!