Molly Heller and Family

Marriage equality supporters and opponents gathered at the Rhode Island State House on Wednesday, Feb. 9, 2011. The House Judiciary Committee heard testimony on two measures that would grant marriage rights to gay and lesbian couples. COLAGE leader Molly Heller submitted her testimony. Read it below!

Rhode Island State Legislature
r.e. Bill 5744

Dear Legislators and Conscientious Citizens of Rhode Island:

Good Evening.

My name is Molly Heller.  I am one of the founding members of national organization called COLAGE — People with a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trasngender, or Queer Parent.  COLAGE was an inspiration, created 20 years ago in a small conference room by people whose history was forged by having parents who were gay, at a meeting in Boston for GLBT families.  My sister and I, with four other sons and daughters of gay and lesbian parents, sat on the floor in a room barely bigger than a closet, talking about our love for our family, and the pain that we suffered from societal discrimination.  We left the conference that day after making a pact that we would create an organization for sons and daughters of GLBT families…something that we accomplished with countless hours of hard work, tears, frustrations, and emotional turmoil, culminating with an organization, that by today’s inspection, has achieved national notoriety and significance — beyond our wildest expectations.  This happened because in a time of widespread discrimination against gay and lesbian families, we forged ahead, fought against bigotry, for basic civil rights, and made change. That was one challenge that we met head on.  But we are here today for something equally important: to establish equal rights of marriage, rights granted to every heterosexual couple in the state, to gay and lesbian couples.

How did this become a mission for me?  My mother is gay.  As a child and to this day, she has taught me to be proud of who I am and to stand up for what I believe in.  Growing up I knew that our society did not accept my family because of who my mom loved.  I wondered why, and I kept my family a secret — fearing hate and bigotry.  Today, this discrimination and homophobia still exists…but I now speak to you with pride for my family.  Yet, I remain baffled that such flagrant, open discrimination not only exists, but is empowered by the current laws that prohibit gay marriage.

To me, it is very simple: everyone is entitled to basic civil rights — to vote, to work, to own land, to serve,…and yes, to love, and to marry who one loves.  Let me say that again.  Everyone deserves the basic civil right to marry who they love.  This is not about personal beliefs, religious beliefs, or fear-mongering.  It’s a simple civil rights issue — no different than those fought by people of color, by women, and yes, now by the gay and lesbian population – equal rights for all.

When I met my husband, we didn’t have to worry about our rights as a couple.  We didn’t have to be concerned about our rights as parents, or about our children’s rights and their and our legal protection.  These were fundamental, inalienable rights we were blessed with as citizens of this great country.  Unfortunately, gay families around the world, and even here in Rhode Island, worry about their legal protection every day.  I am hopeful that my children will grow up knowing their grandmother has the same legal rights as their parents, no matter who she loves.
Please, let’s work together and pass one of the most important bills in our history.  We, as citizens of the State of Rhode Island, must stand behind those basic civil rights that we are all given.  Let us protect, support, and celebrate children and their parents.  It is unconscionable to leave gay families behind.  To quote Abraham Lincoln: “MY DREAM IS OF A PLACE AND A TIME WHERE AMERICA WILL ONCE AGAIN BE SEEN AS THE LAST BEST HOPE ON EARTH.”
Sincerely yours,

Molly Heller

Laurie testifies for Civil Unions bill.

“After I testified I was verbally attacked by an opponent who said I lied about being raised into a healthy adult, and they attacked me as a parent as well. My testimony led the 5pm news on at least one, maybe two news channels.”
- Laurie Cicotello

Update Feb. 23: Civil Unions Become Law!

Update Feb. 11th:  Hawaii House Passes Civil Unions Bill!

Update Feb, 10th: “We got an 11-2 vote to move SB232 to the full House. The 3rd & final reading is tomorrow. Because of amendments from the Attorney General’s office, the bill will return to the Senate before going to Governor,” said Laurie.

Laurie Cicotello is a COLAGEr who  served on the COLAGE Board of Directors. She has been sending us regular updates from Hawaii as several bills move their way through the legislature. “It’s complicated,” she says because there are several bills.

• Watch Laurie in a video report of the debates on KITV.
• Watch Laurie in a video report of the debates on KHON 2.
  

Laurie testified on behalf of her family and COLAGE in support of SB232. Read her testimony below:

Testimony in SUPPORT of SB232 HD1 and/or HB1453
Hearing: 2:15 p.m., Tuesday, Feb. 8, 2011, Conference Room 016

Dear Rep. Keith-Agaran, Rep. Rhoads, Rep. Brower, Rep. Cabanilla, Rep. Carroll, Rep. Herkes, Rep. Ito, Rep. Luke, Rep. McKelvey, Rep. Morita, Rep. Oshiro, Rep. Souki, Rep. Tsuji, Rep. Fontaine, Rep. Marumoto and Rep. Thielen:

Aloha. Mahalo for this opportunity to testify before you this afternoon. My name is Laurie Cicotello and I live in Moili‘ili. I come before you today in support of Senate Bill 232 HD 1 and/or House Bill 1453 regarding the legalization of Civil Unions. I represent COLAGE, People with a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, or Queer Parent. Founded more than 20 years ago, COLAGE envisions a world in which all families are valued, protected, reflected and embraced by society and all of its institutions.

I strongly believe all unions between two consenting adults should be treated equally under the law and as protected by the United States Constitution. Senate Bill 232 HD1 and/or HB 1453 would provide the same rights, benefits, protections and responsibilities to partners in civil unions as to those people in traditional marriages. In addition, children of same-sex couples are currently without the same family protections and benefits provided to children of opposite-sex couples. All families and their children will benefit from the passage of Senate Bill 232 HD1 and/or House Bill 1453.

My parents proudly celebrated their 42nd anniversary on February 1, 2011 – in a legal, now same-sex marriage. In 1969, at Sacred Hearts Catholic Church in Milwaukee, my folks committed in front of God, their family and friends to “Let No One Rend Asunder” their wedding vows. More than 25 years ago, my parent, Dainna, completed the transition from male to female. She and my mom, Mary, decided to stay together and remain married during this intensely personal and emotional change. They are the first couple in the United States to remain legally married following Dainna’s transition.

Over the years, various people from all walks of life have had no problem telling me they feel my parent’s marriage is null and void. I have been told that children are “better off raised in traditional families,” whatever that means. Children like me also hear that as the product of nontraditional families, we will turn into a deviant scourges on society. Yet, I stand before you today as a moral, healthy, well-adjusted adult who has a great deal more compassion for all family structures. I have a highly successful career as a journalist and educator—and even served as a communications specialist in Governor Linda Lingle’s executive office.

In 1996, Colorado overturned State Amendment 2 after the United States Supreme Court ruled 6-3 in Romer v. Evans that “an identifiable group of people could not be walled off from the legal system.” Because marriage—and now civil unions—are first and foremost legal contracts and agreements, the proof of which is that while many, but not all, weddings take place in churches, ALL divorces must take place in a courtroom. Thus, not allowing a certain identifiable group of people to enter into a legal contract effectively walls them off from the legal system.

There is also no way to define the terms, “male,” “female,” “man,” or “woman,” legally or otherwise and no criteria to write those definitions. We are more alike than we are different on every consideration. For example, the International Olympic Committee stopped chromosomal testing in 1994 after finding too many athletes were not exclusively XX or XY.

In addition to supporting the legalization of civil unions, I also kindly ask that Hawai‘i honor the “Full Faith and Credit” afforded under the United States Constitution regarding marriages, civil unions, domestic partnerships or similar legal recognitions between two consenting adults.

I join my parents and countless other ‘ohana across the country in fighting for equality and justice within the law. As my parents travel the country, we are never sure which states will still recognize their marriage and their commitment to “Let No One Rend Asunder” their vows.

Mahalo nui loa for your consideration and support of Senate Bill 232 HD1 and House Bill 1453 recognizing Same-Sex Civil Unions. Thank you for your consideration and support of my family and all families like mine.

Imua Hawai‘i!

Zach Wahls is 19 year old Iowan who spoke out at public forum about House Joint Resolution 6, an amendment that would repeal the state’s marriage equality law, and all legal recognition for gay couples.

COLAGE applauds him and his family for taking a courageous, public stand amplifying the voices of people with LGBTQ parents. Zach is helping to reduce the isolation and challenges many people with LGBTQ parents and their families face during heated, highly publicized political struggles for full equality.

Read more: Iowa House Passes Ant-Gay Rights Amendment