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KOT Resource Guide

GROUPS AND ORGANIZATIONS FOR TRANSGENDER PARENTS AND THEIR CHILDREN

COLAGE

COLAGE is the only national youth-driven network of people with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer parents. Living in a world that treats our families differently can be isolating or challenging. By connecting us with peers who share our experiences, COLAGE helps us become strong advocates for ourselves and our families.

Programs include: local chapters, online communities, visibility and support resources, Pen Pal program, the Just For Us publication, youth activism development, local and regional events, and national education and advocacy.

The COLAGE Kids of Trans program offers workshops and presentations at national and regional events as well as resources and programs specifically for people with one or more transgender parent/s. (415) 861-5437. Fax: (415) 255-8345 kidsoftrans@colage.org, www.colage.org

- Kids of Trans program: www.colage.org/programs/trans

- Pen Pal program:

www.colage.org/programs/penpals/

- 2nd Gen program (LGBTQQ people with LGBT parents):

http://www.colage.org/programs/2ndgen/

FORGE – For Ourselves: Reworking Gender Expression

FORGE is a national education, advocacy and support umbrella organization supporting FTMs, partners, family member, and allies.  Materials addressing racism, positive sexuality, violence, and transition.  Many resources for building healthy families, resolving problems in relationships, and parenting skills.  www.forge-forward.org.  414-278-6031

PFLAG

Maintains more than 450 affiliate chapters across the country. Some include members of the Transgender Support Special Outreach Network. Parents, Family, Friends of Lesbians and Gays, (202) 638-1101 Fax: (202) 638-0243 PFLAG’s transgender network (T-NET) can be found at http://pflag.org/TNET.tnet.0.html

National Center for Transgender Equality

NCTE works for the advancement of transgender people using collaboration, education, and empowerment. 202-903-0112. www.nctequality.org

NGLTF – Transgender Civil Rights Project

NGLTF is a national progressive organization working for LGBT civil rights. Their Transgender Civil Rights Project works to increase the number of state, local and federal laws that prohibit discrimination based on gender expression and identity. 202-393-5177 http://thetaskforce.org/issues/transgender

NCLR

NCLR advocates for the legal rights of transgender people in the area of parenting, custody/visitation, second-parent adoption, and other important issues. They also provide legal information and referrals. Call 800-528-6257 or visit www.nclrights.org.

Transgender Law and Policy Institute

A non-profit organization dedicated to engaging in effective advocacy for transgender people in our society. http://www.transgenderlaw.org/

EMAIL SUPPORT GROUPS

COLAGE on-line communities

Moderated online lists for youth and adults with LGBT parents to build community, get support, and meet new people.  Join an age-based list or sign up for the recently created Kids of Trans list. Just sign up on the COLAGE website http://www.colage.org/programs/online/

ACTP Yahoo Group

Moderated email group for adults (18 and over) with transgender parents. Email Zephyr117@comcast.net to sign up.

Genderqueer and Transgender Parenting List (GQTGParenting)

An inclusive community for parents and prospective parents who are transgender, transsexual, gender variant or genderqueer. Their homepage also features a resource list for transgender parents. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GQTGParenting/

TSParenting Yahoo Group

Moderated email group for transsexual parents. You must request to become a member. Web Site: http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TSParenting

INTERNET RESOURCES & ARTICLES

COLAGE

Check our website for updates from the Kids of Trans program. Also, check out back issues of our newsletter, Just For Us, especially the ones focusing on gender and schools which each include sections about transgender families. You can request copies of the newsletter by emailing colage@colage.org or visit: www.colage.org

FTM International

An international organization serving the FTM community. FTMI_AFLOAT is a listserve for significant others, family, and friends of FTMs. http://www.ftmi.org/

Fluff the Bunny

A children’s story about a bunny’s journey of gender discovery. http://home.comcast.net/~fluffbunny/fluff.html

Genderology

A directory of transgender resources on the world wide web. http://genderology.com/

Gianna Israel’s Gender Library: Family by G. Israel

Articles by a therapist giving advice to transgender people and their families, including a few essays for transgender parents about coming out to their children. www.firelily.com/gender/gianna/sections/family.html

Linda’s Transsexuality Retreat: Links and Information for Transsexual Parents and Their Families

Website with links to various transgender family websites. The best links provide personal stories from a few trans families. http://www.lasimpson.org/PARENTS.html

LiveJournal Community – Transgendered Parents and Parents-To-Be.

This is a LJ community for transgender people and their partners who are parents, parents-to-be or are trying to conceive. You need a LiveJournal account to join this group. www.livejournal.com

My Father, She…

A blog created by the son of a transgender parent who was publicly fired from a private college when she transitioned. There are posts from the son and both parents. http://blog.myfathershe.com/

My Husband Betty Message Boards

Message boards created and moderated by Helen Boyd, author of My Husband Betty, with a focus on partners. Includes a forum devoted to raising kids. Users must log-in to view message board contents. http://www.myhusbandbetty.com/community/forumdisplay.php?f=34

My Mommy Is a Boy

Article discussing issues of transgender parenting with advice for parents coming out and mention of COLAGE Kids of Trans program. (Title taken from the children’s story ‘My Mommy Is a Boy’ which can be ordered at  http://jcarsner.tripod.com/id23.html) News story at: http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=4536604&page=1

The Queer Issue, Two Dads With a Difference—Neither of Us Was Born Male

P.  Califia-Rice. Village Voice. June 21, 2000. http://www.villagevoice.com/issues/0025/califia-rice.php

A Seat on the SOFFA

A blog written by Monica Canfield-Lenfest about her work to increase visibility and develop resources for people with transgender parents. http://supersoffa.blogspot.com

Susan’s Place, Transgender Resources

A good place to search for Transgender information, articles, groups and so on. Website: http://www.susans.org/

Transfamily

Homepage of Transfamily of Cleveland, a support network created by the parents of a transgender person. This website includes links, email lists, books, and other resources for family members of transgender persons. www.transfamily.org

Transparentcy

A great website, dedicated to the protection of transgender people’s right to be a parent, and their love for their children. www.transparentcy.org

Transsexualism FAQ for Significant Others, Friends, Family and Allies.

A Trans 101 for people close to someone undergoing a gender transition. http://www.tsfaq.info/cgi-bin/index.cgi

With Change, Acceptance is Key: Two Brothers Share How They Coped When Their Father Decided to Become a Woman
Lane DeGregory. St. Petersburg Times. April 15, 2007. http://www.sptimes.com/2007/04/15/news_pf/Floridian/With_change__acceptan.shtml

BOOKS AND PUBLICATIONS

Dress Codes- Of Three Girlhoods–My Mother’s, My Father’s, and Mine N. Howey, Picador USA, NY. 2002.
The adult daughter of a straight mother and transgender father provides a memoir of moving observations, that captures the experience of growing up with a transgender father in suburban Ohio.

Families Like Mine: Children of Gay Parents Tell it Like it Is. A. Garner. Harper Collins. 2004.
This book interweaves the author’s personal experiences of growing up with a gay father and straight mother, with those of other adult children of LGBT parents, based on 8 years of activism and over 50 interviews. Features several adults with one or more transgender parent/s. Abigail’s website also featured archived advice columns to LGBT parents. www.familieslikemine.com

I Hope the Blood Never Washes Off Your Hands: Transgender Parenting Crossing the Lines, by Loree Cook-Daniels, in Home Front: Controversies in Nontraditional Parenting, edited by Jess Wells. Alyson Books. 2000.
An essay by the partner of an FTM parent who birthed their son, which examines the social challenges of transgender parenting.

Love Makes a Family: Portraits of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Parents and their Families, Peggy Gillespie. University of Massachussetts Press. 1999.
A book filled with loving portraits and stories of LGBT families.

Luna. J.A. Peters. Little, Brown, and Co.2004.
A young adult novel written from the perspective of the sister of a transgender youth. Appropriate for ages 12 and up.

Out of the Ordinary: Essays on Growing Up with Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Parents – N. Howey, and E. Samuels (ed). St. Martin’s Press. New York, NY. 2000.
A unique anthology of stories written by teens and adults with lesbian, gay, and transgender parents. This is the largest collection of essays by people with transgender parents and is highly recommended for teens and adults.

The Ties That (Don’t) Bind: Transgender Family Law and the Unmaking of Families, by Taylor Flynn, in Transgender Rights, edited by P. Currah, R. Juang, and S. Minter. U of Minnesota Press. 2006.
This essay provides an overview of family law as it has been applied to transgender parents.

Transformations: Cross-dressers and Those Who Love Them, Mariette Pathy Allen. Duttion. 1989.
Portraits of cross-dressers, some of whom are photographed with their children.

Trans Forming Families: Real Stories About Transgendered Loved Ones – M. Boenke. Waterford Press. 1999.
Thirty one stories by spouses, parents, children, and friends exploring the journey, struggle, and delight of having a transgendered loved one.

Transgender Emergence: Therapeutic Guidelines for Working with Gender-Variant People and Their Families. Arlene Istar Lev. Haworth Press. 2004.
A guide for therapists working with transgender clients and their families from a clinical and theoretical perspective.

Transgender Tapestry
A magazine focused on transgender living, featuring an advice column by therapist Ari Lev that often discusses family issues as well as an extensive resource section.  Published by the International Foundation for Gender Education (IFGE). http://www.ifge.org/Category15-All.phtml

Transition and Beyond: Observations on Gender Identity. R. Vanderburgh, MA, LMFT. Q Press. 2007.
A book for therapists, family, and transgender people that explains the many issues of gender transition, written by a trans therapist. One chapter focuses specifically on coming out to children. http://www.transtherapist.com/

True Selves: Understanding Transsexualism for Family, Friends, Coworkers and Helping Professionals M. Brown, and C. Rounsley. Jossey-Bass. 1996.
Practical information to help people close to a trans person to understand transgenderism.

Trumpet J. Kay, Pantheon Books, 1998.
Fictional work that describes how a widow and adult son cope when the FTM father dies and his transsexuality becomes public.

MOVIES

The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert. A road movie about three transgender women driving through Australia. Toward the end of the film, one character meets her young son. 1994. Written and directed by Stephan Elliot.

The Adventures of Sebastien Cole. A coming of age indie film about a teenager who lives with his transgender step-parent and engages in risky behavior. The parent’s coming out scene is fairly realistic, but there is an unrealistic death that may be difficult for some viewers. 1998. Rated R. Written and directed by Tod Williams.

All About My Father. ­ This documentary is a touching portrait of a well-respected doctor and cross-dresser in a small Christian community in Norway, told with warmth and nostalgia by the only person who could make such a film– his son. 2002, Norway. Directed by Even Benestad.

http://www.nfi.no/english/norwegianfilms/show.html?id=16

In My Shoes. A documentary film directed by Jen Gilomen and produced by the COLAGE Youth Leadership in Action Program. This film follows the lives of five youth from LGBT families and includes one youth being raised by her transgender (FTM) guardian. This is a great tool for raising public awareness of issues impacting COLAGErs. http://www.colage.org/inmyshoes/

Myth of Father. This documentary by Paul Hill provides an intimate look into the lives of Paul’s family as they relate to his MTF father. 2003. http://hillyboob.com/MOF/MOFMain.htm

No Dumb Questions. A film by Melissa Regan. This documentary follows three young girls’ conversations about gender and acceptance when they learn that Uncle Bill will soon be Aunt Barbara. This is a good resource for talking to younger children about a family member’s transition. www.nodumbquestions.com

Normal An HBO film directed by Jane Andersen and starring Jessica Lange and Tom Wilkinson.  This movie follows husband and father Roy through his coming out and transition, addressing the reactions of his wife, co-workers, and two children. http://www.hbo.com/films/normal/

Southern Comfort. This tender documentary follows Robert Eads, a female-to-male transsexual, through the final year of his life as he battles ovarian cancer. One of Robert’s adult sons is interviewed about his mom. 2001. Directed by Kate Davis. http://www.nextwavefilms.com/southern/

Transamerica. The critically acclaimed film starring Felicity Huffman as a transgender woman who discovers she is the father of a grown son and embarks on a cross-country road trip. This movie explores issues of family, passing, and secrecy, and is intended for an adult audience. 2005. Directed by Duncan Tucker.

Transparent. A documentary film by Jules Rosskam about 19 female-to-male transsexuals living in the United States who have given birth and, in all but a few stories, gone on to raise their biological children.  2005. http://www.transparentthemovie.com/

You Don’t Know Dick: Courageous Hearts of Transsexual Men. A documentary film featuring six transmen reflecting on their experience of transition from female to male. One of the men has three grown children who are interviewed, one of whom is still struggling with her parent’s transition. 1997.  Produced and directed by Candace Schermerhorn and Bestor Cram.

SCHOLARSHIPS

Lee Dubin Scholarship sponsored by COLAGE
The Lee Dubin Scholarship is for students who have one or more lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender (LGBT) parents.  The scholarship is to help fund undergraduate students who have a demonstrated ability in and commitment to affecting change in society and have financial need. http://colage.org/programs/academic/leedubin.htm

The Transgender Scholarship and Education Legacy Fund
This scholarship is available to transgender students who wish to pursue a career social services, health care, religious instruction, teaching, or law. The requirements and deadline information is listed below. Scholarship applications are available online at: http://www.tself.org (781) 899-2212  TSELF e-mail: carrie@tself.org

COLAGE is the only national youth-driven network of people with lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, or queer parents. Living in a world that treats our families differently can be isolating or challenging. By connecting us with peers who share our experiences, COLAGE helps us become strong advocates for ourselves and our families.

1550 Bryant Street, Suite 830
San Francisco, CA 94103
www.colage.org
415-861-5437

• Order the book (amazon)
  
• Read our interview with Author Tina Fahkrid-Deen
  
• Oakland Book Signing
• San Francisco Book Signing

Let’s Get This Straight reaches out to young people with one or more gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender, or queer parents to provide tools to combat homophobia, take pride in their alternative family structures, and speak out against injustice. This short but thorough book profiles forty-five diverse youth and young adults, all of whom voice their opinions and provide advice for other youth living in LGBTQ households. Let’s Get This Straight also includes probing questions, fun activities, engaging quizzes, and reflective journal sections for youth to share their feelings and experiences about having a gay parent.

Order the book today through amazon.com. Your purchase will include a small donation to COLAGE. Click here!