Action Alert: Don’t Ask- Don’t Tell

Don’t Ask Don’t Tell – a COLAGEr perspective
By Paulie S, COLAGE Community Organizing Intern
I am a proud daughter of a lesbian mother. I also am a proud daughter of a military mother! “How can this be?” many would ask since the US doesn’t allow gays in the military. In actuality, the reality of LGBTQ people serving in the military is very complicated, due mainly to the existence of the Don’t Ask Don’t Tell (DADT) Policy. Prior to the passage of DADT in 1993, homosexuality in the military was banned by regulation. During his first campaign for president, Bill Clinton vowed to lift the ban by executive order. President Clinton’s attempt to allow open service failed; it resulted in the passage of the DADT law meaning that lesbian, gay and bisexual individuals could only serve as long as they weren’t out about their sexual orientation.
So my mom lived two closeted lives, one within her family and the other within the military. Before my parents legally separated, even after my mom came out to my father and me, she lived in secret the rest of her military career. Currently my mom works for the Military but as a civilian since she retired, and though she has devoted over 25 years of service to the US Military she still can not come out at work. The law is such that it not only affects those who are in the military but those who work as civilians for the military.
As my mother’s daughter, I too had to closet my mother’s true identity. I couldn’t identify as having a Lesbian mother even when I had become more comfortable with doing so since people knew my mother was in the military. All it would have taken was one slip by one person and my mother could be subjected to loosing her career and everything that goes along with it.
This meant that even during our latest visit when meeting her coworkers when asked what I do I was forced to make up a fake job. I couldn’t even say that I worked for COLAGE. It’s difficult enough as a COLAGEr at times to come out about our parents to certain people. However, for me it’s even more difficult to have to stay quiet about it.
Based on my personal experiences with DADT and knowing the way it impacts thousands of other COLAGEr youth and adults, I call on President Obama and his administration to lift the DADT policy. While it’s clear that great challenges exist for the President and his team, news reports have indicated that a repeal of the ban is very possible in these first 100 days of his presidency. Taking this step to end discrimination in the military and assuage the impact of homophobia on LGBT service members and their families.
Take Action Now:
1. Sign the petition created by the Service members Legal Defense Network.
2. Contact your elected officials. With the new Congress and new administration, there is great potential to repeal DADT. Explain the impact this policy has on military members and their kids and families.
3. Learn about recent reports that DADT will be repealed in 2009 or 2010.
4. If you are a youth or adult who has an LGBTQ parent who is or was in the military and you have been impacted by DADT, please contact Paulie to learn how you can speak out against this policy or share your experiences to help other COLAGErs.