New York Post columnist Andrea Peyser, recently wrote a critique of the film The Kids Are All Right, starring Annette Bening and Juliane Moore as the moms of 2 donor-conceived youth, played by Mia Wasikowska and Josh Hutcherson. But she did not just critique the film, she critiqued our families.
As the nation’s only youth-driven network of people with a lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender or queer (LGBTQ) parent, COLAGE is thrilled to see a lesbian headed family represented in a major motion picture. COLAGE understands that there will be mixed reactions to the film, even among LGBTQ families, but Andrea Peyser went to great lengths to use her critique as a podium to disparage our families.
She wrote:
“The movie concerns the kids’ hunt for their “sperm donor” — a term used in place of biological father to diminish guys. The donor, Paul, is played by a scruffy and delectable Mark Ruffalo. Inevitably, the kids, who have almost no friends and no discernible religion, find they don’t need Dad either.”
COLAGE recognizes the importance of a donor in many of our families and also recognizes that everyone has the right to define their family and to take pride in knowing that our difference is our strength. Many donor-conceived youth know their donors and have positive and long-lasting relationships with them. Other families have no relationship with their donors.
“It reaches further than the gay-cowboy romp “Brokeback Mountain,” whose characters maintained a sense of otherness while shielding the kids from their shenanigans. In this movie, exposing kids is the entire point.”
At COLAGE we belive in supporting our parents when they are honest and open about who they are and who they love. COLAGE encourages parents and youth to have those conversations, so we as children of LGBTQ parents, can draw strength from our families and the COLAGE community, taking pride in who we are and where we come from.
“It doesn’t take a genius to glean the truth: Folks are happy with gays living together. But bringing children into the equation is a deal-breaker”
Even as we respect and support our parents, we know our families are treated differently, discriminated against and not seen as “normal.” Homophobic falsehoods and assumptions like those espoused in Peyser’s review, make the lives of LGBTQ families more isolating and challenging, and give inspiration to those who seek to deny our families the rights and respect all families deserve.
Connecting with a community of peers makes us more powerful together. COLAGErs unite to be heard on the issues that matter most to our families. When we speak up we become strong advocates for ourselves and our families to conquer the challenges and isolation we sometimes feel.
Speak Out! Write to Andrea Peyser and the New York Post to share your story.
Contact: letters@nypost.com